Anna Resurget

On March 26 I was asked to share a testimony during the chapel service at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.  I took the invitation to share about Anna for the student body and whover else might be attending or watching on television.  The theme for chapel during the 2008-2009 school year is “The Year of Living Dangerously.”  I described Anna as a little girl who did live life fully, passionately, and even dangerously.  Here is what I shared:

In this year of living dangerously at Southern Seminary allow me to tell you about a young lady who took seriously the challenge to live life in bold colors and large letters, who was passionate about all things and lukewarm about none.

Our daughter, Anna Borger, moved to Indonesia with us when she was four years old.  She quickly adapted to life in her new country.  She learned to love the creatures around her, including every neighborhood cat that needed rescuing and every ant or cockroach that her father tried to get out of the house.

As she grew older she acquired a great love and skill with music.  She had a beautiful voice and took naturally to the piano.  Her favorite composer was Mozart, and one day she brought to me a book of Mozart Sonatinas that we had in the house.  She asked me if she could work on them for her piano practice.  I told her that no, she would not be allowed to play from that book.  Her little face was crestfallen and a bit surprised.  I then added, “You must practice your 30 minutes from your lesson, and then on your own time you may play Mozart.”  Her face lit up again and off she trotted to the piano to work on her scales so that she could begin learning the music of her beloved Mozart.

Anna also loved to read.  Everyone who knew Anna knew that she went everywhere with three or four books under her arm, “just in case.”  When she was young we had to give her a five-book limit at bedtime so that she wouldn’t stay up all night.  Her mother homeschooled both our children and she guided Anna in the selection of good books.  Anna loved to read about Greek mythology and was our household expert on all things Greek and Roman when we needed help with a crossword puzzle.  She loved C. S. Lewis’s Narnia Chronicles and had read the entire series several times over by the time she was seven or eight.  She loved reading adaptations of Shakespeare plays and near the end of her life had begun the task of finding and memorizing “all the important speeches of Shakespeare.”  She had already memorized speeches from Othello and Romeo and Juliet and had begun reading the full play of “The Merchant of Venice.  As much as I hate to admit it, I discovered after a little test with her that at nine years old she read faster than I could.

But more than music, reading, or animals, Anna loved Jesus.  After her brother, Samuel, shared the plan of salvation with her, she accepted Christ as her Savior.  She was five years old.  So she began a short but full journey as a follower of Jesus Christ.  Anna began to grow right away as a believer.  In our nightly devotions we read through the Bible one chapter a day.  She grew dissatisfied with this rate and she decided to go back and read through the OT on her own.  Since we had not gotten to the NT yet in our reading she went ahead without us and read the NT on her own.  Her mother taught her to make notes in her Bible as she read.  She dated each book and chapter with the date that she read it.  At the front of her NT she wrote the date she began.  But instead of having a finishing date, as she did with each individual book, she simply added a note at the bottom of the page, “I couldn’t finish the Book of Revelation. It was too heavenly for me.”

On one occasion her mother walked into her bedroom to tuck her into bed.  Anna was lying on her bed, and instead of reading, as was her custom, she was lying still and staring up at the ceiling.  Thinking there might be something wrong, her mother went over and sat down beside her.  “Anna, what are doing?”  “Oh, Mommy,” she answered, “I just love Jesus so much.”  Timberley did not know how to answer her, but was instead convicted by the simple, deep, and passionate faith of this little girl.

During our first term in Indonesia, Anna had trouble engaging the culture and learning the language.  We attributed this to shyness, but at times it seemed as if she was very resistant to meeting people and even trying to learn to greet people.  When we returned to America for our stateside assignment in 2006 a change came over her.  She and her brother attended public school for one semester.  She was in the second grade.  I think that in that school and on the bus she encountered lostness that she could understand for the first time.  There was one boy in particular that seemed to grab her attention.  His name was Calvin.  He was in the third grade.  They rode on the bus together.  He was not a Christian.  “How do you know he is not a Christian?” we asked her.  “Because I asked him, and he said he does not believe in God.”  She went on to explain that Calvin lived with his father and that he was angry about things in his life.  He especially did not believe in God.  But Anna began to share the truth about God with this young boy every day on the bus.  She prayed for him at night.  But Calvin would not believe.

Anna’s schoolteacher that year was a believer and they quickly formed a deep friendship.  After we returned to Indonesia they continued to correspond by email.  Also, when we returned to Indonesia Anna seemed to have a new awareness of the lostness of the people around her and for the first time she began to want to learn the language and to seek out friendships with the girls around her.  A breakthrough came one day when a group of young girls came to our house and dropped off a note for Anna.  It was from Sahabat Pelangi Diva, which could be translated “Diva’s Rainbow Friends.”  The four of them wanted Anna to come out the next day and play with them after school.  Anna was so excited, but she was also scared and nervous.  What would she talk about?  She didn’t know the language well enough.  What would they do?  She didn’t know what kind of games they would play.  But she got herself ready and went out early to meet them.  Taking a book in hand she went and sat at the curb in front of our house.  She told her mother not to come, but Timberley watched from a distance as the girls came along and picked up Anna.  This began a daily habit of the girls coming by to visit with her.

On May 5 last year Anna sent this email to her teacher back in America:

Dear Mrs Buckner,

 

How are you and your family? My family and I are well. If you see any of my former classmates in the halls tell them I miss them so much that sometimes I start crying.

Oh,I forgot,have you gotten the new job yet? Is there any way I can pray for you?  Four girls have started visiting me. They invite me to tramp in the ricefields, take walks,everything.They come over all the time when I’m trying to do something. They only speak a little English and I only speak a little Indonesian so it’s hard to explain things with them. Please pray that I may be able to “share Gods love in its various forms.” I may even be able to get them to come to church with me.Please pray as well that I would not lose my temper. I take piano,voice, and ballet in the city on Thursdays. Ballet is a problem,even though I have the Ballet Body. However piano and voice are no problem. Please keep me updated on the latest news

Yours truly,

Anna

On Wednesday that week Anna and her mother were on a bicycle ride together when Anna inexplicably missed a turn onto a bridge and plunged into a 30-foot ravine.  The doctor told us later that she  died instantly.

When I heard the news I was an hour away taking someone to the airport.  Timberley called me with the news.  In my disbelief and shock I know that among my initial thoughts were, “Lord, this was your will for Anna.”  With all of the confusion; deep, deep sadness; anger; and a whole host of other emotions, this knowledge that God is in control of all these things and is working a good plan, not only for us, but also for Anna, has been for me a rock on which I can sit.  I would say stand, but I found in the aftermath of these events that I could not often stand.  But I found that in the darkness of the storm around me, when I did not know where to turn or where to go, that I could at least sit and find a secure place beneath me.  Then I could rest.

How has all this affected us?  Better yet, how has all of this not affected us?  I have met men who lost children 25, even 38 years ago, and as they tell me the stories of their children, their eyes begin to well up.  So this is what I have to look forward to.

But I also get to listen to my son process these things.  As we sat down for our devotion the other night, Samuel had just read the cover story of the Towers this week.  I asked him if he had read all three stories.  Yes, he had.  I mentioned to him and to Timberley that it was interesting that all three of deaths came under very different circumstances.  In one case, there was obvious human evil.  In another case, by human negligence, and in Anna’s case by no human involvement, other than perhaps Anna’s carelessness.  Thus began a very involved, and very mature discussion about the meaning of God’s sovereign will.  It was a pleasure to hear this young man process and clearly state his thoughts about these very deep and, for him, very personal matters.

I would like to report to you that great things have happened as a result of Anna’s death.  But I can’t.  Yes, her new friends did get to hear the gospel at her memorial service.  Yes, one of the leaders of the Indonesian Baptist Convention, at another memorial service, challenged his fellow Baptists, saying that they should be ashamed of not carrying the gospel to their own people, when this little nine-year old girl, that did not know the language was praying that she might somehow communicate the love of God to her friends.  But I can’t tell you there has been a revival break out.  I can’t tell you that the little girls responded to the gospel by repenting and believing the good news.

And the sad thing is that, even if I could report all these things to you, I would still have to conclude that I would trade it all to have my daughter back.

In the end, we must persist in our life here, apart from Anna, but sharing with her the hope of resurrection that awaits us both at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Yes, both she and we share in the anticipation of his coming again.  In the meantime we take the words of Paul when speaking about Abraham and attempt to apply them to ourselves, “No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God.  But he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God.” 

A group of youth and adults from Hurstbourne Bapt. Church in Louisville, our home church, is going to Lynch, KY for a mission trip this week.  As part of the project the church has collected a sizable number of new and used books for a literacy center there.  Timberley made a list of books that were Anna’s favorites.  While not all of the books given come from that list, it provided a good guide for the project.  I would really recommend this list to any parent or grandparent looking for good books for a young girl or boy to read.  Click on “Anna’s Favorite Books” at the top of this page.

I prepared a short document to be posted in the library that tells a little bit about who Anna is.  This is what I wrote:

Anna Christine Borger

March 29, 1999 – May 7, 2008

Anna Borger was born in Louisville, KY.  At the age of four she moved to the far-off country of Indonesia.  It became her home and she lived there until she went to be with her Lord at the age of nine.

Anna was a beautiful young lady.  She loved to dress up and pretend that she was a princess.  She loved music and drama and learned many Shakespeare speeches to act out in front of others.  Mozart was her favorite composer and she learned to play his music on the piano.  She had a beautiful singing voice and dreamed of playing the violin one day.

Anna loved spending time outside enjoying God’s creation.  She loved all of nature but had a special place in her heart for animals of all kinds.  Anna liked all of the normal animals like dogs and cats and hamsters.  But she also liked to collect large snails and millipedes and let them crawl on her arms.  She collected hairy caterpillars and watched them turn into moths and butterflies.  She loved to go out in the early evening and catch frogs.  Anna was the defender of all things living.

Anna also loved books.  She loved reading her Bible.  She loved books about horses.  She loved to read about Greek myths and Egyptian pharoahs. She loved the Narnia Chronicles and Nancy Drew mysteries.  Anna read hundreds of books in her short life.  If she had a perfect day it would be when she had time to sit and read for hours at a time.

Above all else, Anna loved Jesus.  She accepted Jesus as her Lord when she was five years old.  After that she began to read the Bible and she read all of it in the few years she had left.  Anna was very burdened about children that did not know Jesus and who grew up in difficult situations or broken homes.  She would pray at night for ther children at school that did not know her Lord or who didn’t have a very good home life.  When she was at school or on the bus she would share the truth about Jesus whenever she had the chance.

Books in this library have been donated in memory of Anna by members of Hurstbourne Baptist Church in Louisville, KY, where she was a member.  Alot of these books were her favorites and she read them several times over.  We hope that many children will enjoy the books and that they will develop the same love of reading that Anna had.  More than that, we hope that you will have the same love that she had for her Lord Jesus Christ.

I know this is last minute, but today at Southern Seminary’s chapel service at 10:00 AM I have been given an opportunity to share Anna’s story to the students and faculty of the seminary.  The president of the North American Mission Board will be preaching.

Attend if you can.  The seminary has links to all the chapel addresses on the school website, but I don’t think the testimony I will give will be included there.  Still, there are some great sermons and other lectures to be heard there.  Go to www.sbts.edu and click on Resources at the top of the page.

The latest edition of the campus newpaper, The Towers, had a nice story about the deaths of three children of former students.

You can read it here.

I am posting above a page containing the list of books that Timberley put together.  These were the books that Anna read and read again.  A few (Shakespeare’s Complete Works) she only began to read, but the vast majority were one’s she enjoyed several times over.

I was talking to a friend at church this evening and commented that I did not remember Anna ever reading the Little House series.  My friend reminded me of something Timberley had told her, that Anna had started to read one of the books.  She stopped when a dog died and never picked up another one of them.  An author could get away with a lot with Anna, but you cross a line when you start messing with the animals!

Timberley put in a lot of work putting this list together.  It not only is a great memory of Anna for us, but I think it is a wonderful resource of good books for children and especially girls.  I notice that she added a brief section at the end of authors she recommends for boys.

I have been away from the blog for a while.  Sorry about that.

Anna’s birthday is fast approaching (March 29) and then we have a short break until the anniversary of her death (May 7).  Not sure if this will be a good spring or not.  Seeing flowers coming up on the campus of SBTS has been bittersweet.  Hopeful?  Yes.  But somehow winter seemed to fit the mood better.

The people of Hurstbourne Baptist Church are working on a mission project in Lynch, KY.  They will be taking books to a library established to help children who are learning to read.  The library collection will be dedicated in memory of Anna.  The way I heard the story was that the missions group from the church had come up with the library idea before they went to survey the place.  When they arrived the woman showing them their facilities expressed a need for a collection of books for young readers.  She said this before anyone from our team had said anything about the library.  The church is working now at collecting books that will be taken out during spring break (the week of March 29).  Timberley put together a list of Anna’s favorite books as a guide  for those wishing to donate books.  Sunday ws the first time I saw the list.  I was quite impressed and proud of my daughter.  She was an amazing reader.  And her mother did a wonderful job of steering her and her brother to good books.  There was not much fluff in the book list.  Let me know if you want to see the book list.

Yesterday Timberley and I attended a concert by the Louisville Bach Society.  We were there courtesy of WUOL Louisville  (“your classical choice”) which graciously awarded me tickets even though I was not the fifth caller.  the program contained several cantatas by J. S. Bach, one solo cantata by Antonio Vivaldi, and two motets by the Nazi-era German composer Hugo Distler.

All of the music in the concert was written originally for the church.  Bach and Vivaldi, as chapel composers, had the job of composing a new cantata every week.  Writing the music was of course all done by hand.  The parts had to be rewritten for each member of the orchestra.  Rehearsals had to be held and all of the hand-written parts had to be corrected and so on.  When one considers that even the lines on the paper, the music staves,  had to be hand-drawn, it makes the physical task of writing music almost as daunting as the musical task of coming up with the music in the first place.

For those who complain that the lyrics in modern praise music are too repetitive, they should listen to the opening cantata from Bach, (BWV 69) “Lobe den Herrn, Meine Seele” (“Praise the Lord, O My Soul”).  The opening chorus sings a verse taken from Psalm 103, “Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his benefits.”  That line is sung over, and over, and over, and over again.  But the difference between Bach and modern praise music (if it is not obvious enough) is that when Bach repeats the lyric it part of an ever-changing meolody–a tune that is constantly developing into something new.  As the congregation listens to the choir sing they have the twin experience of hearing a new song at every turn, and of hearing over and over, “Do not forget, do not forget.”

The hymn that caught my attention first yesterday came from the second Bach cantata (BWV 149) “Man singet mit Freuden” (“One sings with joy”).  Here are the words of the final chorale:

I, of course, thought of Anna.  I considered her final thoughts.  I was glad that she had her faith in the one savior of mankind, Jesus Christ, and that she could sing these words, had she known them, with Bach and the rest of us.  I am glad that she is now resting quietly at Abraham’s side, waiting for the glorious day of Christ’s return when the dead will be raised.  With her eyes she will see with total joy her Savior on his throne of grace!

We don’t talk this way now.  I don’t know if people talked that way in the time of Bach.  But that is why we need to come to church.  That is why we need good church music.  It elevates our thoughts and gives us good words to use to praise our Lord and to talk about things are true and solid.

The second half of the program had two motets by Hugo Distler, who was new to me.  The first motet was on a text from Isaiah 53, “Surely he hath borne our sickness.”  Following the biblical text is a hymn text from Paul Gerhardt, a reformation hymn writer of the 17th century.  Read and listen to what he says about the sacrifice of Jesus Christ:

Words like this remind me of a sign I was in the office of a pastor of a church I was visiting.  He allowed me to use his office to pray before preaching to his congregation.  As I sat down at his desk and lifted my head, my eyes fell on a sign with bold letters he had hung on the wall right in front of his desk:

I told the congregation, this is the kind of man you want preaching God’s word to you.  This is a man who takes his labor of preaching seriously.  That seriousness of spirit and deep, deep devotion to God came through clearly in the music yesterday.  May we all live our lives in anticipation of meeting our God.  May it be a day of joy at seeing our Lord.

Anna loved all creatures.  She not only cared for them, but she had a deep affection for them that was at the same time beautiful and a little annoying.  It was beautiful when she was caring for a creature that was wounded, defenseless, or ugly.  It was annoying when she showed affection for a rat that we were trying “get out of the house” or for the red ants that covered our front porch.  The ones with the extremely painful bite.

This love for creatures manifested in a several ways.  One of them was in her choice of future profession.  She had decided early on that she wanted to be an artist and a marine biologist.  She did not know how she would do both.  I suggested that she dive and study the undersea creatures.  Then, after coming back up, she could paint pictures of them.  She thought that might work.

One hitch in the plan was that Anna would need to learn to dive.  She was already a good swimmer.  She was not afraid of the water.  The next step was to take her snorkeling so she could actually get a first-hand view of the sea creatures.  On a trip to Bali I took Sam and Anna out to a reef so we could try snorkeling.  We found the equipment and someone who would take us out in a boat.  Sam and Anna both wore vests.  Sam was already big enough that he fit in the mask and snorkel pretty well.  Anna’s was perhaps a little big for her, but she wanted to try.  And off we went.

We went out and saw some beautiful fish, anenomes, and other creatures.  I tried to  stay within eyesight of both kids at all times, but I was favoring Anna a bit.  At one point I came up for a look around and I saw Anna upright in the water, crying out for me.  I quickly swam over to her, grabbed ahold of her and brought her to the boat.  She was coughing and sputtering.  She had obviously taken in some water.  After I got her settled down a bit and she had stopped crying I asked her what happened.  She told me that she thrown up in the water.  When I asked her how that happened she explained.  “Oh Daddy, I was just trying to rest a little bit.  I decided to float on my back and enjoy the sunshine.  It was so beautiful out and the sky was so blue.  I was so happy, and so I took in a deep breath and . . .”

“Anna, was the snorkel still in your mouth?” I asked.

“Yes, and all of a sudden my mouth was full of salt water and I threw up.”

I couldn’t help but start laughing, picturing Anna floating on her back with her snorkel stuck back down in the ocean.  I gave her a big hug and said I was glad she was okay.  She took the rest of the time off and rested in the boat.  She learned her first snorkeling lesson the hard way.

Reading was very important to Anna.  It is safe to say that reading gave her more pleasure than any other worldly activity.  She was known as the girl that carried books wherever she went.  They went with her to bed.  They went with her to school.  Whenever we got in the car, Anna would bring along three, four, or five books “just in case.”  Her books were almost like an emergency kit.  Samuel is learning now as a Boy Scout about “being prepared.”  For Anna, that meant having some good reading with you.

I mention this because I was talking to a few people yesterday and today about Anna and the matter of reading came up.  One of these people, after he heard some of my stories, remarked that he had read stories of the Puritans and how their children showed great evidences of regeneration at an early age.  He always found them a little hard to believe, but then added that it seemed as if Anna showed those same evidences.

I don’t want to equate reading with faith.  Many atheists are good readers, too.  It’s just they have been reading the wrong books.  But I will say this:  that reading provides the reader a vocabulary for life.  For the Christian, reading, and especially reading the word of God, gives the believer a vocabulary for faith.

Anna read a great many books during her brief life span.  We have not tried to catalogue everything in her room, but I am certain that it is in the hundreds of books, and most of those she had read multiple times.  Because of her reading, Anna had a much wider perspective on life than have many others, including adults.  She had swum in some pretty deep waters even at nine years old.

Because of her reading, Anna had an awareness of what she was feeling and thinking and could relate her thoughts to a broader world.  But perhaps more importantly, she had a vocabulary of words and expressions from which to draw to communicate those thoughts to others.  Conversations were never boring or trivial with Anna.

I have written on this blog about how Anna learned to read and the importance of the word of God to Anna.  I mention this again here to encourage all of us to read more.  And not just to read more, but to read more good books.  This will begin in large part by parents reading good classics to their children before they can read for themselves.  It will mean parents modeling to the children that reading is important.  It might even mean substituting evening television with family reading time.  It was a sad time for me when the children began reading longer books on their own and stopped relying on our evening read aloud sessions for their literary intake.  I began missing out on many good books because the children were reading on their own.

Those evening reading sessions did much for our family.  Of course it encouraged the children to read.  But it also provided us much to talk about.  We never lacked for things to discuss, questions to raise, or just funny stories to tell and retell.  I don’t know how many times I heard Samuel and Anna telling the Miller’s Tale with a great deal of vigor and much laughter by all.  (Warning: we read an abridged version of the Canterbury Tales; the link here is to the original and it is quite a bit more “colorful” than ours.)   But the most important thing that our reading time provided us was personal family time every night.  We had actual contact with one another.  We had times to talk together about things.  Our family grew very tight during those evening reading sessions.  I miss them now.  But then again, there are many things I miss.